This has been an extremely emotional week for me. To begin, Max moved across the country with his new girlfriend. Hearing that news was very difficult, and made me feel like I was going through the breakup once again. And to add to my heartbreak, my loving, caring, and kind hearted grandpa passed away. He was sick for a very long time and is finally at peace but, my heart still breaks, and I miss him already.
Watching Max move across the country with another girl he has been dating for barely five minutes made me wonder if he ever really cared about me, yet alone loved me. I know that's just my anxiety talking, and he did love me, but it is one of those situations that causes a person to think very irrationally. It also made me think about the way we loved each other. I loved him so much, and still do deep down, but I don't know if I would have had it in me to pick up my life, leave my family, and move across the country for him. I wouldn't have wanted to hold him back, so maybe everything that happened did happen for the best. We did love each other, but I'm not sure if we loved each other the way other long-lasting couples do.
When my grandpa passed, my heart not only broke for him, but for my grandma. They loved each other so much, and they looked at each other with such love all the time. It really was a love like what we see in the movies. A love that I want to have one day. The love that I question ever having with Max.
Both of these events really made me think about life, love, and happiness, and that "movie style" love. The love my grandparents had for each other. I want that type of love. A love like the movies. I would never get that if I was with Max. Yes, I did love him, but he didn't look at me the way my grandparents looked at each other, he didn't go the extra mile. He did just enough to make me happy, but sometimes we need to go one step further, and do a little more than "just enough". I also didn't share the same dreams as Max. I didn't dream of moving across the country and starting a new life. He needed someone who wanted that. My grandparents both wanted to stay close to home and raise a family. This brought them together and made them happy. If Max and I didn't have the same goals, it never would have worked.
I long for the type of love my grandparents had. The events of this past week made me realize that I wouldn't have gotten that if I had stayed with Max. While these events were so emotional and hard, they helped me put everything into perspective. One day, I will get that love like the movies and my grandparents, I just have to be patient until it comes, and maybe kiss a few more frogs.
Until next time! Be sure to follow me on twitter for more about breakups, life, and love @trustmeitsnot
Watching Max move across the country with another girl he has been dating for barely five minutes made me wonder if he ever really cared about me, yet alone loved me. I know that's just my anxiety talking, and he did love me, but it is one of those situations that causes a person to think very irrationally. It also made me think about the way we loved each other. I loved him so much, and still do deep down, but I don't know if I would have had it in me to pick up my life, leave my family, and move across the country for him. I wouldn't have wanted to hold him back, so maybe everything that happened did happen for the best. We did love each other, but I'm not sure if we loved each other the way other long-lasting couples do.
When my grandpa passed, my heart not only broke for him, but for my grandma. They loved each other so much, and they looked at each other with such love all the time. It really was a love like what we see in the movies. A love that I want to have one day. The love that I question ever having with Max.
Both of these events really made me think about life, love, and happiness, and that "movie style" love. The love my grandparents had for each other. I want that type of love. A love like the movies. I would never get that if I was with Max. Yes, I did love him, but he didn't look at me the way my grandparents looked at each other, he didn't go the extra mile. He did just enough to make me happy, but sometimes we need to go one step further, and do a little more than "just enough". I also didn't share the same dreams as Max. I didn't dream of moving across the country and starting a new life. He needed someone who wanted that. My grandparents both wanted to stay close to home and raise a family. This brought them together and made them happy. If Max and I didn't have the same goals, it never would have worked.
I long for the type of love my grandparents had. The events of this past week made me realize that I wouldn't have gotten that if I had stayed with Max. While these events were so emotional and hard, they helped me put everything into perspective. One day, I will get that love like the movies and my grandparents, I just have to be patient until it comes, and maybe kiss a few more frogs.
Until next time! Be sure to follow me on twitter for more about breakups, life, and love @trustmeitsnot