Lately I have been thinking about the side effects of a breakup. People usually look at the immediate heart break and tears as the side effect, but I have been looking at it on a deeper level. What about the damage a breakup has on your self worth and self confidence? What about those feelings a breakup causes that make you doubt who you are? To me, those are the big side effects that can impact life after a break up in a very big way.
After my break up with Sam and Max there was a huge blow to my self esteem. I began to look at myself as someone who wasn't worth loving. Someone who didn't deserve to be happy. And someone who didn't deserve to heal. Feeling that way was beyond draining and damaging. I let myself feel this way for a long time. I did nothing about it because I thought it was normal and that it would go away, just like the pain of the loss did. But when you think about yourself in a particular way over and over again, that begins to stick to you, and you start to believe it. You don't overcome it by dwelling on it. You need to put effort into this, just like you need to put effort into moving on from one particular person.
When we are looking to move past a breakup, we need to remember to solve these side effects. Recovering from the loss of your partner is one thing, but we need to manage the other things from the breakup that can impact the future. We need to remember to fix all of the broken pieces, not just the ones on the surface. If we just sit around and think these side effects will cure themselves we will enter a viscous cycle. We won't be able to move past it. We need to try our hardest to fix these side effects and not let them define who we are.
Until next time!
After my break up with Sam and Max there was a huge blow to my self esteem. I began to look at myself as someone who wasn't worth loving. Someone who didn't deserve to be happy. And someone who didn't deserve to heal. Feeling that way was beyond draining and damaging. I let myself feel this way for a long time. I did nothing about it because I thought it was normal and that it would go away, just like the pain of the loss did. But when you think about yourself in a particular way over and over again, that begins to stick to you, and you start to believe it. You don't overcome it by dwelling on it. You need to put effort into this, just like you need to put effort into moving on from one particular person.
When we are looking to move past a breakup, we need to remember to solve these side effects. Recovering from the loss of your partner is one thing, but we need to manage the other things from the breakup that can impact the future. We need to remember to fix all of the broken pieces, not just the ones on the surface. If we just sit around and think these side effects will cure themselves we will enter a viscous cycle. We won't be able to move past it. We need to try our hardest to fix these side effects and not let them define who we are.
Until next time!