Now that I have slowly started to date again, I have been going on a lot of first dates. There has only been one person who has made the second date cut. But, this who process has made me think about the stigmas around the "first" date.
I was talking to my friends before one of my dates and they told me, "Don't bring home leftovers, don't order dessert, and under no circumstances do you order a drink." After they said all of these things I found myself automatically agreeing without even thinking about it. But why?
If this person happens to be someone I date in the long run there will be a day I order dessert, a day I get a cocktail, and definitely a day where I bring home leftovers. Why can't they know about me right off the bat? This all goes back to the idea of the fatal trap. We pretend to be someone we aren't on the first date, and if the date likes that person, we have to pretend to be like that. This is why honesty, in my opinion, is always the bets policy.
I think that we should all work to remove these first date expectations and stigmas, and just be who we are. Don't worry about what your date will think if you bring home leftovers. Don't worry about whta is going through his mind if you get a drink. Just be yourself and enjoy the date. Always be YOU.
I was talking to my friends before one of my dates and they told me, "Don't bring home leftovers, don't order dessert, and under no circumstances do you order a drink." After they said all of these things I found myself automatically agreeing without even thinking about it. But why?
If this person happens to be someone I date in the long run there will be a day I order dessert, a day I get a cocktail, and definitely a day where I bring home leftovers. Why can't they know about me right off the bat? This all goes back to the idea of the fatal trap. We pretend to be someone we aren't on the first date, and if the date likes that person, we have to pretend to be like that. This is why honesty, in my opinion, is always the bets policy.
I think that we should all work to remove these first date expectations and stigmas, and just be who we are. Don't worry about what your date will think if you bring home leftovers. Don't worry about whta is going through his mind if you get a drink. Just be yourself and enjoy the date. Always be YOU.